Earlier in the thread Jack asked me what I would have done differently.

You found this site, fairly early in the process, some of us came too late to apply the principles of DBing, when the spouse is fairly sane.

I had a year, of what I now see as the denial stage, the "stay of execution". What would I have done? I would have left her well alone, instead of asking for progress reports. I would have acted "as if" there was not an issue, instead of moping around, talking about the situation, and following her round like a lap dog.

In the end, I created a self fulfilling prophecy and drove her away.

Actually, I think it would have happened anyway. Not wanting to put a downer on your situation. If it is MLC, then your wife will be thinking fairly rationally at the moment, the consequences of her actions on others. Then her feelings will overpower any rational rational thought.

So I can only echo Jack's words

Quote:
Do not hope that this is a miraculous decision on her part. A sudden and secure change of heart. Be cautious, use this opportunity.

Follow the DBing prinicpals. Remain strong and self assured. Do not be needy, do not tell her that you love her especially if she is not saying it. Work on yourself and your failings.


Quote:
I would recommend staying here and gathering advice from those who have gone before you, rather than think this is going to be a bed of roses.


Absolutely, this is far from over.