Busy at work today and this week so not much time to post, but things are going really really well.
FW had a rough couple of days last week, but we talked about a lot of stuff and things are once again smooth sailing.
OW is out of the apartment, and moved into her new house so we are DONE with that chapter for good except for 1-2 more final bills that will need to be paid.
She changed the stupid locks after he moved home and didn't give a key to the landlord. FW's name is the one on the lease so I'm sure he will probably be charged for them to change them all back so they can open the apt with their master key. Small price to pay I guess to have her out of our hair completely.
I was just talking to FW this morning about how small things will strike me that are so different this time from the last. Things so small that I didn't really notice them. For instance, this morning FW was taking his vitamins and a thought struck me about last time he was home. I remember buying him a bottle of his vitamins when I was at the grocery last time he was home. No big deal. Just part of grocery shopping. When I brought them home he offered to pay me back for them. Then I remembered that he did that with nearly everything I bought for him, diet cokes, vitamins, his blood pressure medicine, etc etc.
When I was buying them I never really thought about it as if I was buying something for him and needed reimbursement, but as part of our regular shopping that just needed to be done.
Anyway, to get to the point. I realize this time that he's not doing that. That even though he wants to maintain his own checking account (my control over the budget and all the money was a big issue with him that I didn't realize until he came back)that it's not a "his and mine" issue anymore like it was then. His attitude about it has changed. Now it's OUR money even though there is a second account instead of just one.
It stressed me out when he first moved back that he wanted to maintain his own checking account. In 15 years of marriage we have NEVER had seperate accounts so that was a HUGE change for me and I was really stressed about making my budget with his check going into another account.
I realize now that I was afraid he was still going to be doing the "his and mine" thing. I was afraid that I was still going to have to live on the budget I had while he was gone and he was going to do whatever he pleased with his money.
That has not been the case at all and I'm starting to relax about that quite a lot now and things are better for me.
OK, I've rambled on enough.
I do find it funny that I'm not worried about OW at all really. Little moments here and there, but I have not had any desire to snoop on FW, to check his email, to check his phone, nothing. Those things never even cross my mind. It's very refreshing to feel that way. It's funny that the things that sometime stress me out are things that I never realized would and the things that I thought would don't seem to bother me at all.
Just going along with the flow and things are going well.
Time to get back to work.
BFM
There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you. David Burns, Intimate Connections
