Small positive steps, what now?

[fb2]

I was thinking that my next goal would be :
-him to actually ask me out for sometime together or meet (intentionally by both of us) at a party (like the one he didn't show up) or a friends' house for dinner or smth like that.

Hi Kalni, It seems to me that you cannot make his future actions YOUR goals? You can only control YOUR actions and HOPE that he does such and such in response. For example, I initiated a series of "friendly" meetings with my W hoping that she would reciprocate the initiating of such meetings but she hasn't so far; I was tempted to make this a goal of mine but I realize I can't really do that. This is one of the ways in which the DR book is written that I find somewhat misleading.