Just ignore Cemar. Don't let him bother you. He seems to believe that LD women are the cause of all marital problems. ::big eyeroll:: I think it's great that you are being proactive.
I want to ask again about feelings. Certainly you must have feelings about being verbally abused by your H. Anger, resentment, frustration? Or did you somehow think that you deserved to be spoken to that way? You mentioned your father having a short fuse. Was he verbally abusive too?
I ask these questions because, IMO, before you can look at your sex life you need to look at your relationship as a whole. And if you are suffering verbal abuse at the hands of your H, you have bigger problems than just trying to improve your sex life. Not only that, but sex improvements will be short-lived without dealing with the larger relationship issues. IOW, there is no easy fix.
That said, has he ever told you how your lack of interest in sex makes him feel? I'm guessing no, because you said he doesn't like to talk about feelings. But if you asked any of the men on this board who are sex-starved, they'd tell you that they feel unloved by their W's lack of interest in sex or desire for them.
Your H may be reluctant to talk about his feelings, but you could let him know how his verbal abuse makes you feel. Tell him that you understand that he is hurt by the state of your sex life, but that it is not appropriate for him to be abusive about it. Tell him how it makes you feel. He probably doesn't realize that you are feeling as hurt as he is (and I'm assuming that you are).
Another thought I had is to try reading some passages of the books to him. You said he'd rather listen than read. That might be something worth trying.
Tell him that you want to work on your problems but that you both need to work together. Your M problems are not all your fault. Your H needs to acknowledge his part in it, and you probably have some insight into what that is. Even if he doesn't know what his part is, he needs to understand and acknowledge that he is part of the problem.
On the romance, Dom is right that just saying you want romance is not helpful. Your H likely doesn't know what that means. So what does more romance mean to you? Did you two ever do any of the things that constitute "romance" to you?
