"One of the things she came back with was, in so many words, "so, how many times per week/month will we have to have sex so that you'll be happy?" Now, just for a moment, consider that response."
MM - (sorry- I haven't learned how to do the quote thing yet) - that is a harsh response IMO. Is there anything that she enjoys? Showers together? Conversation and wine? What I'm trying to get to is, if you can explain (and make sure the timing is right - timing is very important) how being sexual isn't just about meeting your needs but a special gift that you can give to her. That you're sorry she doesn't enjoy it because you would like to make her feel good. That maybe you could take baby steps to work towards at least "wanting" to be together (as opposed to desire). I don't know - just tossing out ideas. Massage maybe?
I can tell you it is depressing to feel like a failure. My H has told me that in all other respects he's happy with our M. This doesn't make me feel like less of a failure. I don't want to feel turned off by the idea of sex, but sometimes that happens. It's almost like I have to choose to make a decision not to be.
I read a book recently that was for ME. Not for my H. Not for the M. It was interesting. It is called "Good Sex: A Woman's Guide to Losing Inhibition." It made me realize how I was deserving of and entitled to a good sex life. That is part of the reason I started posting here seeking ways to rebuild the passion and connection. I'm not expecting much help from my husband on this front, but I'm still willing to hang in there and give it anoter go.
