I hear ya, SM. I get that you making the call seems like "rescuing," but OTOH YOU'RE the one who wants her to do this. If person A wants person B to do something, I'm not sure person A rushing in to do it is rescuing. Rescuing is when person B won't do his or her own work and person A rushes in to do person B's work for them, kwim?
You're assuming that my wife does not want counseling. Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't. You are also assuming that I do want counseling. While I am quite open to the process, I also know it is not a panacea. She said she would make the call, and I'm going to give her the space and time to do it. She hasn't said to me, "I just can't muster the nerve to call. You'll have to do it." For me to call at this point when W said she would take care of it, is, IMO, rescuing behavior.
To rescue someone who doesn't ask for it and may not need it, I think, is the height of paternalistic behavior.
SM
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Henry David Thoreau
