No, you don't, but she won't always be "this person." I don't necessarily like the "alien" moniker, but it's a physiological fact that even shows up on CAT scans of the brain, that people in looooove are altered, chemically, and it affects their moods and their decision-making.
This IS your wife, but this is NOT necessarily her at her core values. That still has yet to play out. I'm just trying to get you to define well-intentioned people's "support" as "ask them to ask your wife to end all contact and return to the marriage."
People in affairs are single-minded and often DENSE. You (and those that are trying to help support the marriage) need to be very single-minded in your approach, in my opinion.
