Please don't do this! It is a recipe for disaster...at least in my opinion.
I did this. The night I got the bomb, I mentioned this (I went through this with my dad - knew the signs). My H gave me me a smirky half smile and said "I thought you would say this". And then he proceeded to tell me that he wasn't in a MLC.
What seems clear to us is not clear to them. While all of our situations are different, many of them have the same themes. And one of the same themes that I read over and over is that someone in MLC doesn't think as they used to. My H is not the same man I married. He is doing things and saying things that I could never have imagined from him.
So ask yourself, what do you hope to accomplish by bringing this up to her? That she will have a light bulb moment and all of the sudden think that this is the problem? That you will be able to fix it?
I don't mean to sound harsh. I know you are desperately looking for answers and I know you are desperately looking for a fix. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do to "fix" her. You can look at yourself and decide if you are happy with yourself, and if not, fix what you are unhappy with within yourself. But fixing her, you just can't do that.
Please read the resources and follow them. It may or may not work for your M. But it will work for you. You will be able to survive this with your sanity. It is more of a self help guide than anything else.
It will take time, fyremn. And a great deal of patience. More than you ever realized you ever had.
Posting here was the best thing for me. I was and am able to vent here, instead of to my H. I can say things here that I would like to say to him, but know that I shouldn't. Lurk around and post on other threads and more people will visit you. These people here are a great support system!
