Was it your wife the divorce attorney who claimed that most of the couples she was working with were fighting over sex? I can't recall the exact phrase, but it was something to this effect. If this is true, then you can draw the conclusion:
a. The majority of couples have conflict over frequency
Was it your wife the divorce attorney who claimed that most of the couples she was working with were fighting over sex? I can't recall the exact phrase, but it was something to this effect. If this is true, then you can draw the conclusion:
a. The majority of couples have conflict over frequency
OR, as you did
b. The majority of divorcing couples do.
I'm curious which statement is correct.
She was extrapolating "b" therefore "a". She said, specifically, that most of her clients had complaints about money or sex. From this, she concluded, that our marriage was normal because we have conflict about sex. I was the one who pointed out that it was normal for the sample population of couples headed toward divorce.
You said "Not having sex causes suffering. So does decreasing your standard of living as well as the standard of living of your wife and children". You can actually do something about the second item, whereas you are SOL on the first if you are married to a person who is stuck in LD mode. A critical difference IMO.
This is true. I know it probably vibes different for you guys than me but I have found that even with kids at the late teen stage you can go a long way substituting creativity and attention for cash. Also, kids care more about things like expensive clothes and electronics than how ritzy of a neighborhood they live in when it comes to status with their peers.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
MM - has she read the SSM? That was a real eye opener for me. It did cause me to try harder.
How about natural testosterone? Has she tried that? As I said, it did help me, but I am ultra sensitive to steroids and it made me gain weight.
btw - I hate the words obligatory sex or pity sex. What is wrong with your W wanting to give you a gift? I know it's better if both are on board, but that just doesn't always happen. I have been struggling with LD for years now, and it is so frustrating to feel like a failure.
cemar - I work out 3-4 times per week. I swear I am just exhausted - mentally, physically, emotionally - and being pressured doesn't help.
She said, specifically, that most of her clients had complaints about money or sex. Hairdog
OK, this is different from what most sites have listed as divorce triggers. Money yes, but sex doesn't even make the list unless you count infidelity. Which most people say results from an emotional disconnect rather than blue balls.
This is really intriguing, what she said. If she ranked the top 5 reasons, what they be, and what percentage?
I read a list somewhere about the top reasons for couples to divorce. Most of them in some way, related back to sex or physical looks. If finances is the problem, people have to realize that the #1 way that men get back at LD women, is to become financially irresponsible.
Infidelity is caused by a need not being met, and for most men, that need is DESIRE. They really don't go to the OW just for sex, they go becaus the OW actually DESIRES and ADMIRES them. But this is essentially realted to sex.
Infidelity is caused by a need not being met, and for most men, that need is DESIRE. They really don't go to the OW just for sex, they go becaus the OW actually DESIRES and ADMIRES them. But this is essentially realted to sex.
No. Infidelity is NOT caused by a need not being met. Please look up Frank Pittman for more information on ALL the types of infidelity. For one type he specifically says that this affair happens most commonly with HAPPILY married couples. That was the type of affair my XH had. That type of affair is triggered by a betrayer's OWN issues with responsibility. My XH told me specifically afterwards that I was no cause of the affair.
In fact many others say that sex is the LEAST important reason for affairs. Instead it's more about a person's own issues.
But what is happiness except the simple harmony between a man and the life he leads? ~Albert Camus
