Originally Posted By: JennyF

I'm sorry things are so upside down.
I find it amazing how reality and the WAS's perception are so incredibly different. There are so many contradictions in your W's behaviours that it is impossible to know what she really wants! I'm sure she has no clue either.
Just_me is right...damned if you do, damned if you don't. It really does go to show you that the problem is in her and not you.
She wants you to do everything for her to fix her life, but without any committment herself. Cake-eating at it's best.
She probably thought that when you moved back in things would feel better...and when they didn't, again instead of looking within herself...she blames you.


I think she comes to me because she can't do it herself - At all. She's probably so overwhelmed and confused that she can't figure her way through the maze that is her life right now. Last time she was like this, it escalated pretty quickly, and she did nothing to help herself - I'd like to try to avoid a repeat of that if possible (last time it cost me two days of work and $2k to clean up the mess).

I know that if I push her away, or tell her to have OM take care of it, it'll turn into a nasty encounter pretty quickly. At least her being receptive to me helping, even if I don't fix the problem, is an improvement.

Originally Posted By: JennyF

So glad she's going to therapy. My heart goes out to her Brit, she's obviously in a pretty bad place.
As far as whether to help her out or not to, though call. I think you should help her by exploring other solutions besides you giving her the money. Kind of a compromise.


We'll see what happens with the therapy thing - Maybe she'll get something out of it; maybe not. She'll probably lie to them about a lot of what has happened to avoid looking like a bad person, or whatever.

I'm not going to give her the money to solve her problem. I'm not in a position where I can sacrifice my own financial security to help her - If we were together, it wouldn't even cross my mind not to just make it go away, but I can't set myself back a couple of months to make her feel better and continue on just like we have been. It makes no sense at all.