By "emotional distance" I don't mean hiding in your emotional corner and alternately pouting and taking pot shots. I mean emotional distance just like in that Khahil Gibran poem that everyone reads at weddings "Let there be space in your togetherness" or something like that. Your H's behavior is screaming at you,"I will not be controlled by you and your poor self image", "I will do what I want about sex when I want", "I am my own person". You are forcing him into a corner what with all the "soulmate" and "he's PERFECT BUT.....". Let him be imperfect. You be imperfect. Be sexual with him without pre-ordained expectation and for Gawds sake without babying him sexually. All that sex therapy bull crap of "do this then move slowly to that" is fine IF he is on board, if he is initiating this to work through his issues. If it is you leading and Mommying him through. It won't work. I don't mean to seem harsh but I just kinda get the sense that you have heaped expectations on him that are about more than just being spouses/parents and lovers and he is resisting that.
