I didn't recall the backstory of your sitch, but after reading your post, I understand what you're saying.
But what Lil wrote is what I was thinking but didn't articulate:
Quote:
SM, I get that you want her to make the call, but isn't the important thing right now just to get you two to counseling? You're choosing the C she wants-- maybe that's enough for now?
I do definitely see your point, but you are making this into a test for her. Is that what you really want to do from the outset? Don't you want to change the adversarial stance?
Even though it would great/right/fair if she would step up to the plate, I don't see what you have to gain by trying to nag/push her to do so. She'll likely only dig in her heels and be even more resistant. It is a power struggle.
In your post, you said you weren't sure that counseling would help. Yet you're trying to get her to make an appointment. You can't make her step up to the plate, and I completely get the frustration that goes along with that, having been in your shoes myself.
So, I say, never mind testing her. If you want to go, make the appointment. If you don't want to go then don't. You're prepared to accept things as they are. So do that. And when you wife starts making noise about counseling just tell her to let you know when and where and you'll be there. And leave it at that.
