I really don't know what the future holds. A couple of days ago, I was just about ready to accept whatever fate was presented to me. I thought I had no options in this matter. I thought I was supposed to sit there waiting, wishing for some magical easy solution to come along. Maybe my W would have said, "honey, I am sorry, I love you dearly, let me make it up to you by loving you forever and ever." But she didn't say that, she instead continued her A.
Well, I learned that the 'Big I' is probably one of the dirtiest, ugliest parts of human nature. Facing down that reality helped me realize that I don't want to be a passenger on a bus that is on a road of lies and unhappiness. But, if I can drive the bus, I could steer it back to a road of honesty, faith and wholeness. If there are those (my W) that wants to get off that bus, then they have the free will to do so. But I am afraid if they get off the bus now, they aren't going to like the neighborhood they are in, and I am afraid the bus of redemption might not make a stop in that neighborhood again....
