SM, I get that you want her to make the call, but isn't the important thing right now just to get you two to counseling? You're choosing the C she wants-- maybe that's enough for now?
I do definitely see your point, but you are making this into a test for her. Is that what you really want to do from the outset? Don't you want to change the adversarial stance?
Counseling can certainly be valuable in some situations, maybe in many situations, but it's by no means a magic bullet. It's funny to me how people put it off and put it off (not referring to you BTW) as though it were the most drastic, dangerous thing they could do... like appealing directly to the Pope or the Wizard of Oz or something. The Court of Last Resort. The phone call to the Governor to stop the execution. And yet they call in plumbers when they need help, they go to someone to cut their hair, groom their dog, teach them to play tennis, or paint their house.
A counselor is a professional who may have some tools to help you solve your problem. Nothing more, nothing less. A good counselor is an artist... like a good orchestra conductor, or a good coach or teacher. A bad one is bad and can ruin people on the process forever.
A counselor is not going to humiliate you or scold you or shame you, which, I think, are some of the reasons people avoid going. Counseling/therapy can certainly fail if the C doesn't lead you to face your issues or if the client doesn't want to work.
I don't know why the extreme aversion... counseling is usually the first thing I think of, not the last.
