Did anyone see Good Morning America this morning? They had a brief news item on midlife crisis. I couldn't find the story on their website, but found it elsewhere from a google search.
Here it is:
Quote:
Middle-Aged Misery: A Common Pattern 29/01/2008
The mid-life crisis is not a myth; new global research reveals that we're most depressed in our forties.
In a massive study using information on 2 million people, from 80 nations, researchers from the University of Warwick and Dartmouth College in the US have found an extraordinarily consistent international pattern in depression and happiness levels.
The researchers found that happiness levels actually follow a U shaped curve, with happiness highest towards the start and end of our lives and leaving us most miserable in middle age. Many previous studies had assumed that psychological well-being stayed relatively flat and consistent as we aged.
Using a sample of 1 million people from the UK, the researchers discovered that for both men and women, the probability of depression peaks around 44 years of age. In the US, however, they found a significant difference between men and women with unhappiness reaching a peak at around 40 years of age for women and 50 years of age for men.
They found the same U-shape in happiness levels and life satisfaction by age for 72 other countries, both developed and developing.
The researchers believe that the U-shaped effect stems from something inside human beings. They show that signs of mid-life depression are found in all kinds of people; it is not caused by having young children in the house, by divorce, or by changes in jobs or income.
"Some people suffer more than others but in our data the average effect is large," said researcher professor Andrew Oswald of the University of Warwick. "It happens to men and women, to single and married people, to rich and poor, and to those with and without children. Nobody knows why we see this consistency."
He says that one possibility is that people learn to adapt to their strengths and weaknesses, and in mid-life are finally forced to let go of their unfeasible aspirations. Another possibility is that cheerful people live systematically longer, and a third possibility is that people learn to count their blessings as they get older, perhaps from seeing people of a similar age to them dying, making them value their own remaining years more.
I thought this was interesting because my H dropped the bomb the day after his 44th birthday.
Now, if only the article would tell us when to expect this all to end......
Hey sweety, just want to wish your D11 to feel better...
I know this is horrible...I know it hurts when they don't seem to care...let's just hope that at some deep level they do care and are just too scared to let us know....
Thinking of you ! x
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
w8, I don't know if I can understand that either. My guess is that they can't face the kids because of the guilt they feel.
If it gets to the point where my H leaves the house, it will be interesting to see how he treats the kids. Right now my kids know nothing and he is a very attentive father (probably more than pre-bomb), not just extra treats and gifts. I don't know how that will change if he has to look them in the eyes and tell them he is leaving.
(((hugs))) and I hope your D feels better soon!
Nature Girl M 40 H 40 M 15, T 19 D11 S9 bomb 3/07 (MOW)
w8 I dont understand it either and we can only hope that it is a temporary state of insanity as part of their crises hope D is better today peace interesting article
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
I've said this before. I understand, to a degree, walking away and not caring about me.
But the girls?
I don't know that I will ever understand that.
I don't think any of us will ever understand this...I would rather chop off all of my limbs than to be away from my kids...well maybe not all of them since my kids are now teenagers ...but you know what I mean.
D11 is finally better. H finally saw her after not seeing her for a week. Only saw her because I called him on the way to taking her to school to see if he wanted me to stop by so he could say hi to her.
No news yet on the job. I am trying not to get my hopes up.
Well.....
Today, I took off my ring. It is time and it is right, for me. I have been thinking about it for quite some time. It doesn't feel right for me to wear it.
Nothing has prompted this. Nothing has happened. It is a way for me to move forward with my life. To me, it represents a marriage that I never want to return to (it is not my original wedding band - it went with another diamond given to me on our 10th anniversary).
If, by some miracle, we do make it and make a new marriage, I will get another band.
But, as I look back, the last 5 years have not been good. The band does not represent good to me.
I took mine off the day he left. H had been removing his to have sex with OW. She actually sole his ring at one point and he got a replacement made. So I guess rings don't mean all that much to some. Sorry, I know it hurts.
...but you know what I mean.