Well its been awhile since I posted so let me just fill everyone in on whats been happening. I had a great holiday with my kids. We had so much fun. I was very upset with W at first, because she took off to be with OM again. It was our daughter's science fair and she chose to be with OM. She helped our D with the project all week and it upset me that she didn't see it through to the end. But at that point, I was like I'm not going to let her ruin my fun. I adopted my D's attitude about we'll have more fun without her. And we did.
Well, Sunday rolls in, the kids and I decided to take family pictures and get dinner. W calls and asks what we're doing, I tell her and invite her. She shows up and has this guilty look on her face. Like she knows she's screwing up and she's missing out. We have a good dinner and go about our business.
Later that night W and I talk and I start to let her have it. But I couldn't do it (I guess DB kicked in). So instead of telling her all of things I was feeling it just came out as why weren't you there for her? She says because we knew you would be. I go don't you think both parents should be? Especially since you helped her? She goes one parent is good enough it always has been in the past. I go well I guess thats where we disagree.
Somehow the conversation turned into an R talk, and as we got into it and I let her know that I have been very consistent with my actions and behavior for the last six months and its not because of you. Its because of me. This is who I am now and its unfortunate that you continue to see as I was. Every time you slam the door in my face I still come back. I'm still standing.
She then proceeded to scream at me. Stuff like you expect me to leave my comfort zone take you back; drop my life and be with you just to watch you leave again. I said no. I don't expect anything. My hope is that you notice who I am. My hope is that you like what you see and want to get to know me. My hope is you want to build a new and better relationship with me. She said I can't do it and stormed off.
Later she came up and apologized for the first time in years. After that, things got strange for me. She acted like my wife for the last day of my visit. We were talking, joking laughing and being affectionate. We even took some photos together for the first time in years. It was great. We got real close at one time and she wanted to back off but she didn't I asked her whats wrong? Does this make you uncomfortable? She said no and thats the problem. But we continued to have a great day and a great moment together.
Well since I left, we have been talking a lot and she is considering making plans with me and the kids during my next visit. I'm hopeful but who knows. Maybe its because I'm leaving thats why she is so nice. But maybe not. Maybe our R is back on the rise and we can start piecing......together. Whatever the reason I am hopeful again.
