Sorry I have been away for a bit. This issue in my head has been working overtime and I neglected to post my updates here.
Life is hard, but life is good.
A couple of days ago, I wrote the OMW a letter telling her everything. On day 2 after the I bomb was dropped, I was 'promised' that the OM was going to tell his W. He didn't do it. I had given the OM, or my W, 12 days to tell the other innocent person involved, but they decided they would keep their A going instead. So, I decided I could not be any part of their lie anymore. I was betraying the OMW by enabling my W and OM to continue their fantasy world. The OMW had the right to know.
I consulted with many people on this. Friends, family, counselors. They all said in unison: "She has a right to know."
It was the second hardest thing I have had to do in this sitch. (The first being the discovery and confrontation of the A.) The OMW was upset. More mad than sad. The reason? This is NOT the first A he has had on her!
My W was majorly pissed that I blew the lid off the fantasy world. She has let me know that this whole mess is my fault, and I am a bad person for wrecking TWO marriages. But, you know, I know, and God knows that I didn't make this mess or choose adultery. They did.
My intentions of informing the OMW wife were in NO WAY vengeful or evil-spirited. In fact, just the opposite. To this day, I remain committed to saving my family and marriage from this awful series of events. Deep down, I know my W is a GOOD person who got caught up in a BAD sitch. I do not want a divorce. I only want to fight for my family, marriage, wife and life.
I know the road ahead is long, and very well may lead us to the place I don't want to go. But I will tell you this, the day I told the OMW what happened, is the day I regained my dignity, pride and self-confidence back. Regardless of the outcome, I know I will be a better person for the rest of my days because for the first time in a long time, I did the RIGHT thing.
Thanks to all of you for the help, GREAT advice and prayers. I have been given strenght from within, but not without the help from a new, wise FRIEND. Choc has been there for me every step of the way and I am forever thankful.
