FIsh - that is great your W listened to your side of the story and you do have communication. I know the what ifs kill me too every day. What if instead I had done this or that - what if we had talked a year ago - what if I had lost weight sooner - what if I had returned to work sooner - what if the last few weeks before he revealed the affair and I knew something was really wrong I talked to him and told him how much I loved him instead of pulling away and feeling angry. What if I had not reacted so angry and pitiful when he ended the M - what if I had DB'd from the start and became this thin, independent, understanding woman from the beginning that he could not find fault with and make him think he was making a mistake. I think you stated it perfect in your last comment and I keep telling myself that they have done what is in their best self interest instead of doing things to make the situation better. I truly do believe MIchelles philosphy that any marriage can be saved. Everybody pulls apart at some time in a long realtionship. Its just working on getting that connection back - its wanting to - and they dont want to for their own selfish reasons. My H also blamed me and was very angry. He said he did not even like me anymore - everything was my fault - I was a lousy wife. Then when we attempted to repair our marriage for a few days in Oct he had tears in his eyes about the affair. I dont know.??? Is it guilt that makes them lash out and blame us. Whatever it is - it worked - becuase I am in the same boat - I blame myself and what if do death.
