Let me rephrase it a little: "Everything is great BETWEEN US except the sex." Can THAT be true?
Yes, I do think it's true. But it depends on some things. If sex is not extremely important to both of you, if you can come to some kind of compromise, if you can talk about it openly without too much blame and shame, yes I think you can have a marvelous relationship even if the sex is not good.
Usually, a dynamic sets up where two people end up pushing each other away, at the exact moment when closeness is most important. It's hard to prevent the vicious cycle. And sexual conflict contains more potential for blame and shame than any other type of marital conflict, which is what makes a positive outcome, where both members of the couple can maintain a healthy relationship in spite of the basic conflict, pretty rare.
Your boyfriend has a history of being rude to you. Would that be as bad for you if you had had a good sex life with him? Having one area that you can't fix can lead you to scrutinize other areas more closely. On the other hand, if you talk to happy couples, they will speak of their partner's shortcomings with humor and forgiveness. So a conflict that has no resolution, no hope for compromise, and for which there is no level of acceptance will just fester and poison other areas of the relationship. If you can at least hear and respect each other's positions, if you can accept and forgive each other, if you can focus on the positive qualities instead of the negative, then I think it's possible.
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But can things really be all that great between you two if you're not having sex... or having it only a couple of times a year, or having it only after begging, pleading, and other humiliation?
If you have to beg, plead, and feel humiliated, then I would say that you don't have a good relationship.
SM
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Henry David Thoreau
