Wantlove - where are you ? Hope all is ok !

[bookpusher]

Wantlove - I have the ultimate runner. It has basically been 2 years since I have seen him. A counselor brought him and my DD together and still he only sees her when the C says to see her. He not only doesn't contact us, he doesn't contact his family. I went through everything you are going through. I can't say what is right but I do know these guys are very scared and very guilty. They are fleeing. My H told the C that he wants to be alone, he likes being alone. (but he has a "gf") I believe the best thing is to leave them alone. When someone is scared, you have two choices - leave them totally alone until they are ready or find their comfort zone and work from there. Always be kind. Think of it like a deer or wild animal, you have to not look at and ignore it before it comes closer. Believe me, I did mistakes in the very beginning and because of them I lost total contact. I wonder sometimes if I had kept it light and "friendly" where I would be - maybe the same spot, maybe closer but I believe I am doing right now and leaving him alone.

Here's what RCR put out awhile ago:
Your Husband's Mid-Life Crisis
By Sally Conway
Chapter 8: Life Without Him
Pages 90-92

THE DROPOUT
If your husband has dropped all communication with you or any of his family, your best course of action is not to chase after him. You may want to make sure he is well and safe, but after you know that,don't bother him. If you do, he may only run somewhere else. Or he may resent you even more. In some cases, depending on his personality and the reasons for his leaving, a husband may need to know that you care for him and that he is welcome to return home. But don't pester him. Choose the best way to let him know you care, do it, and then leave him alone. He will recover faster if you are not aggravating him.

THE DROPLET
The family who receives occasional contacts from a man who leaves, may feel wounded every time. You need to pray that God will give you special grace whenever he contacts you so you can be wise, patient, and loving. Each time your husband gets i touch with you, you are being tested. How you handle the encounter will have a lot to do with the decision he is making about whether or not to return. Again, it may not seem fair. You are under unusual stress, and yet you need to be at your best emotionally and spiritually. That is why you need to keep in vital fellowship with the Lord and some human friends.