I just want to make it better. . .

[seekpeaceofmind]

Thanks for the encouragement - I know this is going to be a real hard week. I felt ok after he left - talked with BF, came on here to get my thoughts down. And, then 30 min ago bam! - major negative thoughts: My H just wants to be a single guy and that is more imp to him than our lives together, M vows, etc. I know it's not that simple and snapped out of it after some hard crying. Should have taken a walk this p.m. like BF suggested, but it's dark now.

I know my H listens more than I thought he was doing and has asked for clarity some time later.

In these really stressful convos, I have a hard time remembering what I said, what he said, what I thought but didn't say, what I wished I'd said. . . . That's one reason I wanted to write some of it down, b/c there was so much said and this is the rest of our lives we're talking about. I told it to BF, so if it's imp, she'll remind me.

Two good things - he said that he does miss me and that he cares about me and loves me "in his fashion".