LS,

Welcome! I was/am the LDW in my M so I understand your POV. Here are some questions for you:

Has your H read any of these books? Has he ever told you how your sex life makes him feel (hurt, unloved, etc.)? That is probably why he acts the way he does, although that doesn't excuse it. How do you feel when he speaks that way to you?

What was your sex life like early in your relationship? Did you have a higher drive early on? If so, when did your drive start to drop?

Do you orgasm during sex? Do you enjoy sex when you have it?

Do you notice that there are certain times or certain situations when you are interested in sex? Do you need to feel "connected" to your H in order to desire him?

In general I used to want sex only 1 or 2 times a month. I just didn't want it more than that. And I felt like I was doing it for my H and not really for myself, even though I always enjoyed it and usually orgasmed. The turning point for me was when I decided that I wanted to explore my sexuality and have a better sex life not just for my H but for myself as well. But it's taken a while to get there.