I think he wants a route home but there is NO EASY way. I also think that he feels that if he were in your shoes he would be out for his pound of flesh and would make it uncomfortable for you for quite a while - I guess I am saying he is judging what he thinks your reactions will be by what he thinks his own would be if the shoe were on the other foot. However, as we all know, until it happens you are never sure how you are going to react.
I think he does want to see you break down and want him. However, I don't know if that is the right thing to do. If you are to have a future with this guy it's got to be healthier than the one you have had. It has to be an equal R. I do believe you may have to drive him away to get him back - I do think he will come back though - he knows which side his bread is buttered.
I agree that he may well have not slept in his car on a cold night; it may have been a ONS - which is horrid - but probably is because he is craving comfort; no strings attached physical comfort.He may talk D but he doesn't really act it - where are the papers?
His actions all scream out to me that if he could, he would put all that has happened behind him; he would turn back the clock. he has learnt that what he did, did not solve anything for him. I think YOU have to decide just how far you are willing to go to let him back. He knows you so well - he even listed the requirements he knew you would need him to meet - and you know what - I bet when he was saying them a voice inside him was calling out saying "lwb - just tell me you know I can do those things".
I think he felt, for some reason,emasculated ,and OW made his cave man come out for a while. Now he can see he has been played and at the same time hurt what is most dear and important to you and him. I don't think he is maybe quite yet in the place where he knows how to come back but I feel he is getting close to it.
I don't know what to say to you to do - I don't know your H - but if he was mine I would show him some softness - NOT WEAKNESS- but show him some compassion and tell him that he CAN do the things he listed that are needed to revive your M. That you believe he can, and that you want it to be him that you are closest to BUT if he can't man up and do those things you will, after D, look for someone that will love and respect you. For heavens sakes - it's the least you deserve.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
