Hi MM - I am a LDW. Believe me, I think about sex as much as my H does - for different reasons. I feel pressured. Memories of screaming, name calling, etc sometimes cause me to tense up. Criticisms made about the very act itself.
I just posted my first long post in this forum. I want our marriage to work. This has become such a hotbed for us, we are polarized. I'm struggling to find ways to bring us closer together. Most of my suggestions seem to fall on deaf ears.
So, that's my question for you. Did you listen? Really? Or did you pressure without meaning to. I have begged for romance and conversation. Maybe it wouldn't restore my libido, but it would at least allow me to relax enough to enjoy the idea of sex with my H.
At some point, it becomes an aversion that you have to get past. It is very, very hard. I'm hoping we make it. Maybe there is still a chance for you?
Is your W shy? Does it help if she's tipsy? There must be soemthing she likes? I like it when my husband buys me something he likes to see me wear. It makes me feel special.
natural testosterone helped me - it's about the only thing - but I stopped because it made me gain weight. Now I'm struggling again. No interest. No dreams. Believe me - it is frutrating for me too. Why am I not allowed to feel good?
Don't know if any of this helps. But I'm here...somewhat in your W's shoes...
