jarhead, I love your analogy. So very true. And you are right, who is the biggest fool here? And yes, my H is screaming for attention/validation/something, just like your W.

Choc,

Quote:
"if you end our marriage this way, I will never be your best friend anymore. I don't say that to be mean, but I just can't do that.


I said this and also added that it would be inappropriate when I am in a new relationship to have such a close tie and connection to him. He constantly says 'This will be your choice, you will always have my heart, you can be as close to me as you choose. I won't be with a woman that won't accept that you come first (???). If you choose to be distant, I will have to accept it no matter how hard.'

hey edie, we do have a family trip planned in the end of February. I am totally waffling about this now.

sara and sue, thank you for stopping by.....it means a lot.

saffie, my friend. Help me out here. Are you telling me that I need to tell him (yet again) that I don't want this divorce, that I want him and only him, and give him a ton of attention? I cried last night for the first time in front of him (in a long time) and he lost it. I told him I felt I was losing so much more than him because we are in different places right now.

I fully believe he told that woman he is getting divorced, and I believe they kissed. I am thinking they might have done more, because SallyM is right, it was not warm on Saturday night. He kept the truth about OW from me for one week (between me asking him once, him lying, me asking again, and him spilling) because he said he couldn't hurt me. I am wondering if this is the same. There are plenty of women out there happy to have a one night stand.

thanks yoyo, jak, tired, anyone I missed.

I have really needed this board today. Helps me see I am not alone. I can do this, I can be a divorced woman, but I don't want it. I don't want it for my girls. I just don't know what to do. Proceed with filing paperwork, or leave it be for awhile. I could do the 'patience' thing when I knew OW was waffling out of the picture (she is gone for good now), but with this new kiss....don't know. I know he wants to try separation before divorce, but I don't have it in me to separate and watch him date. I could separate to work on us, but not to watch this anymore. I might be hitting my point of what I can take.....