Hanging on to what I believe in!

[ba065]

UPDATE......

I haven't been on the board since Thursday, so I have alot of catching up to do to see what you all have been up to....hope to catch up today....sorry...

I just wanted to post a quick update on my sitch...ALOT has changed!

I was off work on Friday...did some running for H...got cars washed, banking stuff, met for lunch etc. H was in a horrible mood...everything was bad...his job, his life, the normal MLC stuff...horrid mood....didn't even know why we bothered to meet for lunch. We had previously made dinner reservations for Friday night and I offererd to cancel them...but H refused, said he wanted to go...why, I don't know since his mood was so bad and I figured he'd ruin the night anyway.

So we went to dinner...it was a fancy place...expensive...food was so-so...had nice conversation surprisingly. H was coming out of his bad mood. Got home about 8:30 and H practically attacked me...was whispering in my ears..calling my name over and over...saying he's made his decision and he wants to stay and work on our R. Of course, I'm elated, however extremely skeptical...worried about the other shoe dropping so to speak.

H moved back into our bedroom...we had IR all weekend. Went hiking, met for lunch on Saturday (H had to work for a couple hours). Went shopping and out for dinner Saturday night...rented a movie (but didn't watch the whole thing...went to bed early). Church on Sunday...H went to work for a couple more hours...(they are swamped at his office right now). Went biking together....H bought me roses..ate dinner at home and went to our country dance class...great weekend...great fun...seems almost normal......THEN....

MOW left two messages on his phone while we were dancing. And I stupidly made the comments about why she was calling again and why she couldn't just leave us alone...we were working on us....H got angry...blah, blah, blah.....he moved out of our room last night...says I don't trust him (well duh)...anyway, I didn't over-react...I had just calmly stated those couple of things about MOW and He went into defense mode. My Bad!!!!

H called this morning...apologized for blowing up....said he loves me and wants to work on us...I apologized for jumping to conclusions and asking questions he wasn't ready to answer. He did inform me that MOW had called for a reason relating to H's work...and when he called back this morning he actually spoke with MOW's husband (which he said was weird...since her H doesn't know about my H and his wife).

This is definitely a one-day-at-a-time thing....and it's going to be hard not to get my expectations up....I need you guys to keep me grounded in reality. I so desperately want this to work out, but I'm suspicious, nervous....all of the things you shouldn't have to be when you are in love. I know H's feelings for MOW aren't gone....it may take a very long time for him to get over her....if ever.... but it seems he's willing to work on us, I just don't know if I trust him or his motives at this point. Any input????

Thanks.

BA