I am so sorry you are feeling so down. There is a lot going on, and it is not at all easy to get through it, but you will.
I haven't read your entire thread, so I don't know the whole story, but this struck me.
Quote:
could not talk to me but to his d and then cried hysterically on the phone with her. That is just not right.
I am assuming that "his D" is also your D. But either way, she is his D and he loves her and has every right to talk to her. I understand that it is hurtful, my STBX will talk to my Ds and tell them he doesn't want to talk to me. It hurts, no way around it. But he needs to keep a connection to her, for her sake. You don't want your D to feel any more abandonded than she already does.
I know you feel abandoned too. All of us do. But the kids, the kids regardless of age don't need to be. Some MLCers will ignore their kids, some will not. But you are only going to hurt YOUR relationship with your D by being jealous of her connection with her dad. And in turn that is not going to help you save your M.
You are very hurt, and I am very sorry for that. Really. But don't let it take over your whole life. Don't let it taint everything. Find something that makes you feel better about YOU and focus on that. Let your H be. He is going to do what he wants anyway, you can't change that. You can only change you and the way you live your life.
