day by day

[saffie]

I wouldn't mind if he was at a standstill with us, but to move forward and be meeting other people?

But you were out separately. I know why. I know you have two young girls and you can't just drop everything and be there for him all the time. I know he has to grow up BUT just maybe this kiss business was because he is hurting from the b/down of R with OW and he doesn't believe you really want him back. He is seeking comfort EVEN when he knows it is not going to help long term. He is going for the easy instant fix of another breathing warm body. The thought of all that he would have to do to right all the wrongs he has caused probably seems just so insurmountable to him at the moment. You even say you see the kiss as meaningless.

He is constantly seeking confirmation that you are not getting it on with someone else - all the calls to Hope's phone - this guy has MAJOR insecurity problems and OW IMHO made him feel like a MAN not a boy for a while.

If he is really wanting a D why feel guilty about kissing new OW.

I wouldn't be surprised if he wanted you to be fragile and 'need' him. My H always thought I was way too strong and he couldn't see any vulnerability in me which is why he thought I didn't care - even though I would tell him I loved him. My actions appeared different to him. Apart from the money he brought in he felt that he was surplus to requirements - he wasn't but HE felt like that. In your case you are even the main bread winner.

I don't know if I believe your H is telling other women he is getting divorced - I think he is saying that to twist the knife in you.

I would be F'ing livid if I was you - I am just trying to show you though that perhaps things look different from where your H is standing.

I know you don't need this crap honey and I wish your H would start using his brain instead of his mouth. I know that you will deal with this with the grace, poise and intellect you have always shown. You truly are an amazing woman and I do believe your H knows that and just maybe feels you are TOO good for him.