Wantlove....I'm sorry you feel that way. I was asking what kind of person you are, so we can get an idea of the type of suggestions we might throw your way....
I hope the very best for you, it pains me to see that you have such a hard time with us here, for I have felt only love and compassion and have made some very attentive and wonderful friends here...
Take care, may God be with you xx
Love Cinders xxx
"In the depths of my winter, I realized there is within me an invincible summer" Albert Camus
WHY IS IT EVERYTIME WE WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU...YOU PULL AWAY?????
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
Hey Cinders you don,t scare me I'm a mum! Sorry I have this on a fridge magnet. Dare I say somethings not quite kosha. I hope Wantlove that you seek help elsewhere I think professional help might be a good thing. Everyone has only tried to help we have all been hurt beyond words and there is no way we would wish to inflict more pain on a fellow human being.
I don;t give "excuses", but I don't want to do things that aren't me, and frankly, some things offered may be right for others, just not me. that is why Iam aling for all suggestions. I can get ideas, and then sift thrtough to see what feels right for me. I want to be true to myself - is there any other way to be? If I am uncomfortable doing something - NOT because I am araid of a reaction - why would I do it? I have to take care of me, no one else is.....
To thine own self be true.
Perhaps being true to yourself is what is causing him to stay away.
It is hypothetical anyway.
A person should only change things in themselves they wish to improve. Not change to accomodate someone else. What quicker way to become disillusioned with someone.
6 months is a long time. I was hoping your Christmas present would facilitate some sort of contact. Sorry it did not.
Calling him from an unlisted number...not a good idea.
Going to his work...might give you an answer you need, to determine what you do next.
I hope you find the support you need somewhere in your life WL.
Last edited by Jack_Three_Beans; 01/28/0807:31 PM.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
So many people have come to offer their support to you.
So many people have tried to be supportive and sympathetic.
You are angry, and that is understandable, but there is nobody here who is out to hurt you or intentionally give you bad advice.
I have no clue as to what type of relationship you had with your Husband, but your defensiveness and lack of compassion to others here who are only trying to help you shows a little bit of what type of person you can be.
Could your Husband be in MLC? Maybe, who knows.
Could he be a WAS who simply just had enough? Maybe.
Only you will know if you go searching to him for answers.
I am not suggesting stalking by any means, but I would definately pluck up my courage and wait for him after work to get some much needed answers.
No contact may be working for him, but it is not working for you or your Marriage.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Wantlove - I have the ultimate runner. It has basically been 2 years since I have seen him. A counselor brought him and my DD together and still he only sees her when the C says to see her. He not only doesn't contact us, he doesn't contact his family. I went through everything you are going through. I can't say what is right but I do know these guys are very scared and very guilty. They are fleeing. My H told the C that he wants to be alone, he likes being alone. (but he has a "gf") I believe the best thing is to leave them alone. When someone is scared, you have two choices - leave them totally alone until they are ready or find their comfort zone and work from there. Always be kind. Think of it like a deer or wild animal, you have to not look at and ignore it before it comes closer. Believe me, I did mistakes in the very beginning and because of them I lost total contact. I wonder sometimes if I had kept it light and "friendly" where I would be - maybe the same spot, maybe closer but I believe I am doing right now and leaving him alone.
Here's what RCR put out awhile ago: Your Husband's Mid-Life Crisis By Sally Conway Chapter 8: Life Without Him Pages 90-92
THE DROPOUT If your husband has dropped all communication with you or any of his family, your best course of action is not to chase after him. You may want to make sure he is well and safe, but after you know that,don't bother him. If you do, he may only run somewhere else. Or he may resent you even more. In some cases, depending on his personality and the reasons for his leaving, a husband may need to know that you care for him and that he is welcome to return home. But don't pester him. Choose the best way to let him know you care, do it, and then leave him alone. He will recover faster if you are not aggravating him.
THE DROPLET The family who receives occasional contacts from a man who leaves, may feel wounded every time. You need to pray that God will give you special grace whenever he contacts you so you can be wise, patient, and loving. Each time your husband gets i touch with you, you are being tested. How you handle the encounter will have a lot to do with the decision he is making about whether or not to return. Again, it may not seem fair. You are under unusual stress, and yet you need to be at your best emotionally and spiritually. That is why you need to keep in vital fellowship with the Lord and some human friends.
Sitting quietly doing nothing, the flowers bloom effortlessly.
bomb: Jan 25, 2006 not seen since DD moved in with H - 9/1/08 H filed for divorce - 11/2008 Divorce dismissed by courts - 4/2010 still nothing
