My philosophy is keep doing what is working and stop doing what doesn't.
Great attitude, that's my philosophy too. It's easier said than done sometimes, but overall it's the winning gameplan.
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IMHO, W is still living in the past & in fear of the future.
Don't agree with your view on this Jab. Try seeing it through HER eyes. She's not living in the past, she just has a very vivid memory. Her dream was crushed too, and the pain was very real. She's not going back to that EVER. If she's tentative about the future she's being very wise. Not wanting to fall into the same miserable trap she's finally rid of. Just keep doing what you're doing, moving forward with YOUR life, growing up, doing the right things, the mature things, the secure things. She'll always carry the pain from her past, and always be a little leary, so just know that, acknowledge that, let her be who she wants to be, feel how she wants to feel, and YOU keep on being the rock, her man.
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I can honestly say that I don't think I'm physically or mentally capable of doing any more at the moment than I'm currently doing and either it will be enough or it won't. If I feel like there is something more I can do, then I'll do it.
Just be yourself. Fearless, fun, caring, loving, and supportive. That does not mean being a doormat, but being a man. Retrouvaille is a great experience. I much preferred that to C anyday. The problem that I had with C is that they tend to dig up crap that should just not be stirred up, and then just send you out the door with very few tools. Retrouvaille was not focused on digging, but rather on education and communication.
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W said the other day she wants to go on a 'family adventure'. I actually said 'I'd love to do that but let's take it one step at a time, ok?
Okay bro, maybe I'm not getting the whole picture here, but when you woman says she wants an adventure, you give her an adventure. If you were dating a new gal that you were really interested in and she said whe wanted an adventure would you put her off? I say, plan a weekend trip to the snow, or the beach, or the mountains. If you can not legally get out of the house, then at least start planning for it. Ask her what her idea of an adventure is. That's a definite green light my friend. She needs to know that you can be adventurous as a family and it's safe. It's part of her learning experiencing about the changes you are making in real world situations, not just home in the apartment.
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So, I continue to pray & live on.
Pray on my brother, you still have a long ways to go. One day at a time please.
God Bless You,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
