Your sponsor sounds like a smart cookie, and I like the things he laid out for you and in the order he laid them out. Obviously, you can't make any list of changes that include your wife...she's entirely responsible for those.
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She is doing what she is doing to get attention from you, she wants you to D her, to do anything, just show attention in some way.
This is the only thing I disagree with. Based on what you've written before, I do not believe that she does what she does for attention from you. That's typical LBS thinking..."he/she is doing x,y, or z to gauge my reaction". While I believe her dating other guys isn't to get your attention, the reality is that unless she tells you flat out why she behaves the way she does, you have no way of knowing. Having a wife come back, I can tell you that she didn't do things to see if I was noticing. She was doing things for her own reasons and I was doing a fair amount of overinterpreting. It's just another thing you can't control. You can stay stable and on course and it should be enough for you. If it isn't enough for her, then so be it.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
