Thanks everyone, I am a bit tired today. Slept from 4am-6:30am. But its all good.
saffie, while I agree with your point, I have been doing that (attention/niceness) for quite awhile now. There is only so much giving I can do without receiving any sign its working. I feel like I put myself out there and got nothing. I wouldn't mind if he was at a standstill with us, but to move forward and be meeting other people? I don't regret our times lately, but I don't know if I can do it anymore.
hopeforthefuture, I see the kiss as meaningless, yes. But if he is attempting to have another OW, then what then? He will not go to Retro with me. I won't ask again. Thank you for posting and reading, I appreciate it.
SallyM, I asked. He told. Wasn't in my plans to ask, but I did. He probably stayed out in his car because of the guilt. Fine. It hurt SO much when I asked him if she asked if he was married, and he said "I am getting a divorce". Fine, you are telling people that, then that's what you are getting.
If I sound angry, I am. I won't be to his face, but here, right now, I am angry. He cried as much as I did last night, but we are crying over different things. He said he loves me, cares about me, doesn't want to leave if I am fragile, can't stand the thought of me being with someone else, etc. I told him (and I think he finally gets it) that our relationship will be so different. He has been believing that the only thing that will change with us is on paper. Not possible. He said that is up to me and I said it won't happen, we will never be this close.
I need him out of my face if he is going to be walking around telling other women he is getting divorced. I told him that I will not be with anyone until the papers are signed. His choices are his choices.
I could go on forever, but I have been invited to play Barbies...
