I think your plan sounds good. I don't consider it a positive that she talks about OM in a negative light. I think she would obviously do that with you...why would she talk about the good stuff?
She will occasionally make a positive comment, or at least a comment that is neutral - For example, we were watching TV and I mentioned that I wanted to watch American Psycho again sometime (We were watching Batman Begins, so that made me think of it). I asked if she had it in the box of movies she took from our collection, and she said she didn't think so - She said OM had a lot of movies and he probably had it that we could borrow. I told her I'd just rent it one night instead
Originally Posted By: Just_Me
Maybe you don't have to shut her down when she talks about OM, but you don't have to be Mr. validate and listen either. You can be more like, "hmmmm", and leave it at that. To me it's a kick in the teeth to hear about it all the time. It's good that you are her outlet, but it doesn't seem to be going anywhere. Probably won't until she gives up on the fantasy. Maybe she'll get her act together after the fantasy implodes, but you never know, maybe she won't ever get there.
Most of the time I don't really entertain the discussion, unless it's obvious that she's PO'ed at the guy and I can help her work through whatever BS she has in her head. If it's just general conversation, most of the time I just brush it off or just make sure she knows I listened and keep the conversation going on the original track.
I'd rather she found a therapist she can talk to and use them as an outlet, rather than me - Not because I don't want to listen or help; I just think they'd be able to help her better and she might even listen to what they have to say (but probably not).
