I have reached out - and gotten nothing...only so many times I can do that and get knoecked on my a** again. I want to be there for him, not to fix but just "be". Apparently, this is not an option now.
It has been 6 months since I have seen or spoken to, or known anything about him.
That sucks big time and it must really hurt. I am truly sorry.
But I can tell that you are a strong and fiercely independent person and though 6 months seems like an eternity, in the span of a life it is a mere blip. The landscape of this strange time will look so different to you 2 years from now.
He was the love of your life and it's a very devastating loss. I truly know that grief. I also had the grief of 4 children to cope with during the worst times and though this may sound weird to you, be thankful you did not have children with him before he did this--it makes everything about a million times harder and being bound for life to a person who hurt you so badly is not desirable--at least it isn't for me! It also makes "having my own life" a much bigger challenge because I am a single parent now.
I'm not trying to say your pain isn't as valid or as real as mine...one thing I have learned here is that no matter how long the marriage, no matter if there are children, no matter if the marriage was "good" or "had trouble" we all have very deep grief when a marriage falls apart. I just, well, like my signature says, try to look on the bright side 'cause as dark as this cloud is, there are some silver linings.
Minor Correction: he IS the love of my life, not WAS...
Thank for your kind words. Contrary to what some here believe, I am not full of attitude, I DO appreciate others words and experiences and very much understand my situation.
Minor Correction: he IS the love of my life, not WAS...
I hear ya!
I think you're a fighter. It's okay to have attitude and you don't have to take people's advice. I'm a fighter too and used to get all crazy up in my dad's face. My mom said that's why I survived my insane childhood. Sometimes you need to be a fighter to survive this pain.
It is even harder when you love them so much, when things in the marriage were, by most standards, very good, when it all seems so totally upside down and inside out. People have break downs. What other reason is there? I went back and read some of your earlier posts. They hurt my heart because your words were so poignant and full of pain. it reminded me so much of the early days for me. I loved him so much it nearly killed me.
But it is now 2 years after he left and I am happier than I have ever been. I hope your situation is different and your H comes back to you, but even if that doesn't happen, life can begin anew and happiness can be rediscovered.
