LWB, Been a while since I've posted on your thread, but I just wanted to throw you some support.
Originally Posted By: lwb
We are D'ing. Long talk tonight. H kissed a NEW girl Saturday night. He slept in his car (thought he shouldn't drive). Its completely over with OW. He met this girl and thought *I* was out kissing people so he did it. No excuse.
Agree, there is no excuse for the kiss, but it was probably meaningless. I'm not gonna say if it was right or wrong, but I had a couple of kisses in the middle of my situation when I thought our marriage was over. It boosted my self confidence and made me feel good about myself, but it really didn't mean anything. In your case, the OW was the issue. It was the OW that he had the emotional bond with. If that is truly ended, then there is a chance that he can start thinking rationally again about what he stands to lose.
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This week, we are talking to a few mediators, getting the house appraised, getting new credit cards, filing our taxes (last time together apparently), and separating finances.
Four weeks ago, my W and I were in this same spot. We had separated our finances and I had started the paperwork for D. I thought that it was really over, but somehow things fell into place to turn it all around. We had scheduled a Retrouvaille weekend for 1/18 way back in November. My W had reluctantly agreed to go if only to work on improving our communication after the D. I looked forward to that weekend as our last option, but I knew that it would be meaningless if the OG was still in the picture. Well, like I said, the planets must have aligned for us on that weekend. Two weeks before the weekend, she broke off contact with OG and really committed to giving our R shot. Going into the Retro weekend, we were both skeptical and unsure, but it really helped to bring us together and give us optimism for a healthy and rewarding relationship. I am not much of a religious person, but I can't help but feel that there were some miracles involved here. The first weekend of Retro was in the hotel where we had our wedding reception. The follow up weekends are in the church where we had the ceremony. Talk about full circle...
My point is that we have turned it around. We had done counceling with little or no success, but the Retro weekend really touched us both. We have come back from the edge, and we are no different that others on this board. There is still lots of work ahead, but we are both committed to doing what it takes and are looking forward to creating new memories as a family.
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Crushed? Yes. Is it happening? Most likely.
It sounds like you have not yet given up all hope. Check out the Retro website (www.retrouvaille.org) and see if there are any upcoming dates in your area. It is definitely worthwhile.
