She's gone...I'm devastated, but hopeful

[LoginName]

nope, MM, it's not over. Detach, detach, detach. It'a marathon, longer than a marathon, this is still way too early for any ending.

She obviously likes you. She just needs time. Remember, it's not about you. She isn't rejecting you, even if it feels that way. Give her space. It's about her. Let her breath. Back off.

I don't think you need to ignore her. If she asks a question, answer it. but don't initiate communication and don't talk about R (IF she brings it up, maybe, talk some, but be slow and wary, not dishonest, just take it slow.)

If she asks for some time, like the 2 weeks, honor it.

Take youself out of this. Take your ego out of this. You aren't being judged, and found lacking. It's not you. It's all her.

It's a huge risk, but one where the odds are secretly in your favor. You can't lose. It's probably best you don't think you'll eventually get her back. If you act as if she is gone, DETACH, then you give her the real space she needs to find what she needs.

Unconditional love. It's not about you.

Now, what is about you: keep GALing and do it for yourself. You don't have to do anything to impress her. If you like it, do it, even if it would seem lame to her or someone else. If you try to impress her, she'll see through it. This is all about you, not her.

It's one of those contridictions: the more you detach, the more you concentrate on yourself, the better your chances of there being a new M/R in the future. The more you don't desire it, the more likely you'll get it.

So you can't lose. You'll be a better person: stronger, healthier, happier, and get her back, or you'll be a better person without her.

Your sitch, and mine too, are not nearly as bad as some, but we still feel the pain and feel the insecurity. It's not easy, but you can do it. It's in your nature. You're strong enough, you're built strong enough, to do this. Again you can't lose.

Detach, Give Her Space. Be supportive, practice Unconditional love, but dont' initiate R talk.

Good luck, MM, get ready for a long trip, longer than you'll think.