((((jf))). I frequently mention that you and a few other posters really remind me of my H and our situation, but you do. It is nice to know that others understand and have the same feelings. I thought I was the only one with the paranoia. Everytime H wants to talk I am expecting the "big one". I keep trying to plan in my head how I will respond. I go between just giving in and giving up to fighting. Of course my friends and family think I should not fight and move on, but my sister thinks I should fight for my marriage. My S is starting to be really affected as well. In fact his teacher pulled H aside and mentioned that S knows what is going on and mentioned to her that he sees his mommy sad and he does not like it. Last week when my H went on his tyrade I just lost it. Once he was off the phone I just bawled. This was the first time S saw me break down in all this. I have been able to keep up a good front, but that just did me in. He now does not want to do to H's house. H came today to get son and he refused to go. My H was furious and just started yelling at S. S got even more upset and started crying and getting scared. I tried to convince S to go, but he was having no parts of it. H stormed out without S. It is actually starting to become one big ugly mess. My H never has wanted to accept that it has affected S. Early on my S would ask "why can't daddy come home?" "Why doesn't daddy love you any more mommy?"
Anyway, keep your chin up. I hope your C session goes well. And even if you don't realize it you sound stronger and stronger in your posts. I commend you because you have been able to keep the the peace for your kids and let H's stupidity and erractic behavior roll off your back.
