I remember feeling so down about myself all of the time and felt so worthless.
I have felt this way for a long time, especially after finding out "how great" ow is. Blech. It seems that every time I started to feel good about myself something would happen and it would be like a kick in the gut all over again.
I think going to work, even though it's a job I don't really want and doesn't pay fabulously, will make me feel better. It will give me something to do and I think make me feel like I am contributing to life and my independence a little.
What I would really like to do is be able to work part-time and go to school. I will talk to STBX about that if he gets a job that will pay enough to cover everything.
Sure I will miss my kids and miss volunteering in their classes, but I have to do this and it will be okay.
STBX called D5 back today and neither one of them felt like answering the phone, so I let it go to vm. I always encourage them to talk to him but I am tired of telling them they HAVE to answer the phone.
