She's gone...I'm devastated, but hopeful

[minkerman]

Thanks for all the observations and advice, LN.

I have been pretty much ignoring her for a couple of days, and the last time we spoke we agreed to a 2 week no-contact period. I went to a dance last night (solo), which is pretty out of character for me, but I had committed to being the DJ so I had to go.

Anyway, this morning W called me and asked if I wanted to come and see her place. I said sure, sounds good, maybe we can grab some lunch.

So I went over, got a nice hug and kiss and we sat down to chat. We each had a couple of beers then went out for lunch. The whole time I was very supportive but MAN was it hard not to feel blue. I saw all the things I love about her, and the new changes are not unattractive to me. I have so much respect for what she is doing, but at the same time I wish she would just come home.

So at one point in the afternoon, she told me she was so sorry but she thinks she will be moving forward with her life. Not what I wanted to hear. I said, so do you want me to start getting everything ready to sell and sit down with a lawyer? No, no, it's not time for that yet, she says. Let's just sit on things and see where it goes. I said, well it looks like you've made up your mind. She said it is really hard for her to let go, because we have been together so long. She just really wants to be sure before making any decision.

We spent the rest of the afternoon cuddling on the couch (2 hours) and just watching the cloud formations over the water. It was really nice, and she was so sweet to me the rest of the day. She cried a ton, and kept saying she was sorry for what she is doing to me and to us.

She mentioned my GAL efforts many times today, and said she has been telling people about it.

But it looks like the door is closing on our relationship, it is so depressing and confusing to me.