Confessions of a Supermom - JennyF's 4th thread

[JennyF]

lizzy,

I do believe that there is still hope for you and your H. Unfortunately it will be awhile....he has to come back from his alien ship first and realize that the CFB is that and not the stong woman that you are.

I hope this is good intuition on your part Lizzy!
I have felt since the bomb drop that deep in my gut it is not all said and done. I've questioned whether this is blind faith, intuition or just plain denial.
But I find it hard to ignore the feeling it because it feels so real. My mother gave me some advice a while ago to quiet myself and my thoughts down and I might be able to hear God speak to me. Now I have never been a religious person and I will admit that I've turned to him now more than ever! But this feeling I have is kind of what I hear when I've quieted down. So I'm getting all deep here I know...but I feel like it's relevent because I too believe there is a chance for us! Even if all the signs are pointing elsewhere.

blindsided,

Sounds like you're having a few rough days.

Yeah, it has been a little rough. I think now that I'm starting let S go every now and then with H, I've in a way...back to where I was shortly after bomb drop. I only had 5 1/2 weeks between bomb drop and giving birth. I didn't find DB until S was 2 wks old, so that whole time pre-baby I was doing all the wrong stuff and pushing H away. But I never really dealt with anything. I basically filed away to get myself ready to give birth and care for a newborn. And I did. H threw me a few curve balls in there with wanting to sell the house, switching his bank account. My point is that, I think I'm just in the last 2 weeks dealing again with some of my raw feelings that I felt in the beginning. This on top of living the reality of being a single mother with such young kids...it's been a little stressful. And unfortunately friends and family kind of think I should be moving on. I never realized how right Michele was in DR about well-meaning friends and family just wanting you to get over it!
Anyway, I can't wait until my counselling appmt on Thursday. I am going to set some goals with my C.
Gotta go...I'll be back.
J~