Wantlove - I don't think that NC is the answer to every situation. I did the NC thing while my ex and I were separated, and it backfired. I think it backfired in my case because one of our problems was communication.
You have to try things and figure out if they work or not in your situation. If something doesn't work, try something else. It's basically just trial and error. There is no one size fits all solution.
ABSOFREAKINLUTELY! This is the key woman. Go with your gut. If you gut is telling you to do something and it is gnawing at you, then listen to it. I really don't know what your situation--if you know where to contact him or how, but if your gut tells you that you need to let him know you are there for him, then why not do it? What's it going to hurt?
Look, there's nothing you can do to change the situation right? So why not at least follow what your heart tells you? YOu're not going to be a crazy stalker or fall down at his feet begging him to come home, we know that.
You just seem so torn about what to do. I ask you again, what do you want to do? Forget DB, forget all the other stuff people have told you, what is your gut telling you?
