I just want to make it better. . .

[seekpeaceofmind]

One thing that my IC helped a lot with was my own understanding of where my responsibility in the M left off and H's started. I was taking the blame in myself for everything. I used to think it was my fault that I was so frustrated in dealing with my H. But, she helped me see that my reactions were normal. That doesn't let me off the hook - because I could have handled things better. But, he's not off the hook either - she really validated for me that it took two to get to this point. And, right now, it's really taking just one to stay here. I'm ready to make a better R, but Mr Passive-Aggressive wants to stay stuck in his ambivalence where no one asks anything of him.

Maybe I'm a little bitter. . . But, that's real too and it's not the defining aspect of my feelings about H. I would be happy to forgive and forget. None of us are perfect.

My C also keeps telling me that my emotions are normal. I thought some meds might help, but she has not made that referral and so I am using the "natural" method to get through this. Homeopathic stuff has no effect on me. I read the other day that ADs work on only about 40% of the people who take them and that exercise is as effective as ADs. By exercise, they mean sessions that make you sweat and burn at least 350 calories 3x a week. I'd rather take a pill! But, I may try getting off my butt and working up a sweat.