Wantlove, Cinders is right you are certainly different from most/ many posters here, but we are all different. I am sure I have told you before my x just walked away dispite us having 3 children togther (grown ups). It has been 5 years with no contact and it was only recently broken by me contacting him to tell him something. I have survived I took to heart the many posts made to me back in the darkest of days. I looked at myself. Quite honestly and this is meant to get you out of your woe is me stupour-why on earth would this man want to come back to you if this is your attitude to the kindest set of well meaning people you could wish to come across. Search your heart find the reason that he left you for. We all have to accept 50% of the marriage failure even those of us who truly believed we had the best of marriages.
Your stories always seem to have huge chunks missing, family relationships odd to say the least. Yu do not have to answer any questions and indeed the answers you give are dubious at times. People ask them in order to gain insight and thereby offer the best advice they can. Pearls before swine spring to mind.Yes this is very harsh and blunt but if your h is truly missing there is a reason but he is not truly missing is he because you stated he came over to collect his mail. He is just missing from your life and thats something you will not tolerate. If you truly love him let him go and work on your failings and just maybe he will get to hear that you have changed and consider some contact.
I gave up on trying to help you on your last thread but came here to see how you were doing and hoped you may have changed your attitude but no just the same. I hope you find someone who can help you at some point. I truly have no idea what you are actually lookng for.
Sorry you don't appreciate this "attitude", but don't presume that I am leaving info. out. I can't give you what I don't have. There is no "woe is me", just frustration and hurt, like everyone else. It is hard to find others on this board in similar situations, but I do take advantadge of what everyone has to say. I do take offense to your supposition that, since my family relaitonships do not mirror yours, they are "odd".
Sorry you don't appreciate this "attitude", but don't presume that I am leaving info. out. I can't give you what I don't have. There is no "woe is me", just frustration and hurt, like everyone else. It is hard to find others on this board in similar situations, but I do take advantadge of what everyone has to say. I do take offense to your supposition that, since my family relaitonships do not mirror yours, they are "odd".
Also, it is insulting to be told to "find the reason he helft you for"....this isna;t all about me, remeber? This is his journey, NOT mine.....
Before everyone jumpsw at me to tell me that it has now become my journey, I fully realiae that. I was just trying to state that it is a bit narrow-minded to believe that there is a REASON he left ME for.....and that there can be no other issues with nhim, it HAS to be me.....
Wantlove, Just because he left, doesn't mean it HAS to be because of you, i.e, what you said or did. Some of these individuals have some very serious, deep issues that hit them like a ton of bricks and when they do, they run. They are the ones that never learned out to cope and deal with those deep emotional issues.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I know, I really think this is what my situation is all about. I was just struck by the way it was worded...what he left you for.....
Actually, remebering this is helpful, I can maintain compassion and know it isn;t antyhing I can do to change/fix/help. It would be nice to get a call or email, so I know that, for at least a second, he thought of me.....
I know, I really think this is what my situation is all about. I was just struck by the way it was worded...what he left you for.....
Actually, remebering this is helpful, I can maintain compassion and know it isn;t antyhing I can do to change/fix/help. It would be nice to get a call or email, so I know that, for at least a second, he thought of me.....
"There is no "woe is me", just frustration and hurt, like everyone else". Thats good , you now have found a common ground-yes we have all been frustrated and hurt.
I agree "this isn't all about me" but some of it is like 50% Yes it is his journey and h is making it at this moment in time without you. BUT it is still your journey too and it is about how you handle your part of the journey whilst alone that is important. You also know nothing of my family relationships but I was going on the fact that you know h,s brother yet did not feel you could contact him or ask about your erant husband in an earlier post-I apologise IF I got that wrong, but I am sure all of us here would have swallowed are pride or whatever and moved hell and highwater to find out from anyone what actually had happened to are missing husbands. I am really sorry you are hurt and frustrated we know how that feels and all the emotions inbetween but I still maintain that we have to work on us and let them go. We actually have no choice and no control over what they do. What happened about the suprise gift you were planning did you do it or make contact? how did that go? Have you had any communications has he actually told you he is never coming back,loves another,was never happy, he has a new life any of the things so many waw's say and if so how did you react or reply.
btw, I didn't mean to imply it was solely your fault your husband left merely that we have our part to play in it to some degree and I think if we are honest many of us had failings and certainly alot of us had rose coloured specs on when recalling our hapyy marriages because obviously our spouses didn,t feel the same. Your h may well have a multitude of "hang ups" to deal with BUT we still need to look at us,because if they did and then they just walk well we certainly missed the signs.
The reason I asked was because the majority of posters here have done the begging, pleading and many other crazy things out of desperation and WL has done none of these things.
I am not sure why she hasn't and I just found it a bit odd that after 6 months she has not done anything to at least try and get some answers.
Again, thank you for sharing
((((((Faith)))))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
