BND, To answer your question, yes, I called his family first because my h wasn't answering his cell phone nor responding to emails to his work. His brother finally told him that he needed to call me because he had left everything in my lap, i.e., bills, the house, his new puppy, everything. When he called me, he was extremely cold and very, very distant. The two times he came to my home, he wasn't the man that I knew any longer. He was a very different man.
This man would come to the house while I was at work and just sit for several hours. The neighbors said that he would come at 1 and leave at 3. I would come home and could never tell he had been here. It was like a ghost visiting. If he contacted me, which was very, very rare, it was always around 3 in the afternoon, just before I left work and it was always, always in a very nasty tone, demanding, this or that. He accused me of trying to trick him or that he thought I would hide things from him if he had told me he was coming over, etc. Now, I'm a very honest and open person, which I found that accusations to be very far fetched and off the wall. I actually thought he had a brain tumor or a mental meltdown at that time. He made it impossible to have a civil conversation about anything. All he complained to his attorney about was missing mail. Guess what. A man who has 5 mailing addresses is bound to have missing mail and that missing mail was the junk mail that he use to toss in the trash. I found it was less painful not contacting him and trying to make it on my own. I had to save myself in order to save our assets and keep our finances out of ruin.
It was a month later that I found this board and began to post and realized what I was dealing w.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
