Wantlove - where are you ? Hope all is ok !

[job]

Want,
I do understand why you are feeling the way that you are. It' hurts like hell. When my h walked out, the only time that I ever heard from him was when I finally tracked him down to ask him to meet me to discuss bills. He avoided me like I had cooties. The first year, I guess I actually saw my h twice and that was it. I never saw him again (phyiscally) until we were getting ready to divorce and that was in 2002. I saw him at the pre-divorce hearing and the day of the divorce. I've seen him once since that time in 2005.

It's very difficult to try understand how someone you were married to, loved and lived with could do something like this. I have found that this time of situation is worse than death. Why? Because you never get the closure that you are seeking. There is never any real understanding of why they left and they sure as hell won't tell you what really triggered the walk out.
It took me a very long time to get to a place where I accepted that everything was completely over.

Some of these guys do walk out and do not contact you for a long, long time. Sting is another poster who doesn't visit very often, but her h walked out and moved across the country and then finally moved back to the same state that she's in. Even though it's been a long time, he still doesn't have much contact with her.

Ghostwriter, another poster who hasn't posted in a very long time, has the same situation. Her h moved out, disappeared off the map and he pops out about once a year. I just spoke to her last night and she said that she had her yearly sighting this last week. The one thing that we all had in common was that we didn't know where they lived, they had multiple P.O. Boxes and didn't share their phone numbers w/us. It's like they left their old lives behind and created a new persona.

None of the above have children with their runaway spouses, including myself. There are a few of us out there, but it's a rarity. I do think that those who run have some very severe issues to deal w and it takes them a very, very long time to come to terms w/themselves and those and that's when they start to peek out every now and then.

I do understand your frustration about your situation. I can still remember how I felt back then and it wasn't a good place to be because I wanted answers and closure and there was none to be had for my particular situation. I would suggest that you check out the FortySixty forum as well. I believe there are a few over there that do not have children and are posting. I pop over there every now and then to see what is going on. It never hurts to visit different forums because you just might find someone in the same situation that you are.

I do hope that you'll continue to post and talk about it. We are different because we don't have the "children" tie to keep them connected to us. However, there is nothing that says that deep down they don't think/care about us, it's just a matter of them making some moves and they won't for a long time.

Take care of yourself.