But the thing is...having a LD spouse usually has little to do with you...one of the things that I think "drove" my H to the internet was he was confused because he wasn't feeling that sexual power in himself...he had it at one time...but now he was forcing it...and it didn't feel right to him...I think this tied in with his depression a lot too...
I know how you can take it personal...but my H has shared with me how he "wants" to feel...I can only imagine how it must feel for a man to want to be sexual...to feel sexually aroused...and yet can't...for whatever reason...and then to know he is letting his spouse down has to amplify his own feelings of being betrayed by his own body...
I also believe the affairs with this type of man are really to try and "prove" that it isn't THEM...it must be someone or something else...and thus they begin to think about OW...and initially perhaps, the excitement makes things seem for the present to be better...but then the reality eventually sets in...they begin to experience the same loss of feelings...along with the added burden of guilt...and along with this the depression is likely to increase...
I can't imagine how this must be for a man...especially given societies view on how a man is supposed to be all the time at the "ready" for sex...and those pills don't always work...for my H they make him sick to his stomach and in turn that quelches whatever desire he was able to get...
I don't feel I am "settling" for less then I deserve in my marriage though...I do work with my H...I want to please him in ways that I can...and in turn he does the same for me...although I know many times he isn't "feeling it"...it is a constant struggle for him...and I don't take it personal...I don't add more burden to him...I accept how things are...the least pressure I bring to the situation the better for both of us...
