I just want to make it better. . .

[seekpeaceofmind]

Still stressing about MC tomorrow. One problem I have is how to project independence and "I'm OK no matter what" in the context of MC, when my whole goal in these sessions is to deal honestly with the issue of how can we reconcile. I want to explore what H's issues are and how to address them, but I also think that my needs have to be at least visible, even though they take second place to his ongoing ambivalence. It hurts that I haven't seen him in 3 weeks and it doesn't give us much to build on in MC. It's like walking from the freezer into the sauna and I don't think either one of us is prepared for the heat.

So much of the advice on here has to do with projecting an upbeat, positive attitude that will be attractive to the WAS, but I don't think I can pull that off in the context of an MC session where so far my predominant feelings have been vulnerable, stunned, and frustrated.