If you mean he started to warm up to me by delaying the divorce "because of insurance", I simply told him I appreciated that. When he did the favor for me (moving a piece of furniture to the house), I asked him if he wanted a beer. He said "no". Then I asked him if he wanted his mail. He said "yes", but stood in the garage. I invited him into the house (the house he left many months ago) and he looked around, asked about the new windows, told me I "was wasting away to nothing", made a few other simple comments and left. He did comment that he was working a lot of overtime and how much money he was making by doing that and I simply said "I hope you don't get too tired."
At first I was so disappointed by the fact that there was nothing more. Then, a few days later, I woke up at 4am with the thought, "He wasn't wearing his work jacket. He came directly from work to pick up the furniture, but he was wearing one of his "good" jackets." He must have planned ahead! I was really nervous about his coming to the house and all. If I was nervous, I can imagine how nervous HE was!
But as I have said before, there has been silence since then. It drives me nuts. I hate divorce. I hate the thought of divorce. But if he is truly "through", then please, let the divorce happen so I can begin to heal from that trauma. Living as a married single has some drawbacks. I don't date. I can't leave the area because he still owns half of the house. I have to look at long term ideas from both standpoints... married and single and decide which way to go. It is tiring. One other challenge that I have is that we moved to this town two years ago and I don't know a lot of people. Yes, I have made some new friends, but they are not the same as "old friends" and I am sometimes a bit lonely.
In telling him about the insurance, I only plan on saying that my insurance will be in effect on such a date. No mention of D at all. But how do I communicate that when I promised him that I would not write again and am trying my darnedest to stay dark? Send a note with the mail I forward to him? That is still breaking my silence.
As for birthdays, my birthday is a few weeks after his, so it is a new development. Haven't dealt with it yet. I will be the icebreaker on that one, if acknowledging it is the right way to go. My gut tells me to call him, and send a "nice" card, nothing syrupy sweet.
