First off, blame Saffie for drawing me over onto this forum...I'm a sucker for a hot woman with a whip
I haven't read your entire situation so forgive me for my lack of knowledge but your wife and OM....I'm assuming that it's done?? And now I assume that you're doing the DBing, working on yourself, etc.... in hopes of her coming around and life will be good?
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this and I'll probably read this later and wonder what the hell I was trying to get across. (I'm layed up in a hospital bed and heavily medicated so be patient ) But I'm reading your posts and I'm sensing a lot of pent up negativity towards your wife....understandably so!
A little history on Ole IC...my ex-wife and I went through a somewhat similar situation as you. She was having an affair (unknown to me) and she asked if I would move out so she could "work on herself"...I got the whole "I love you but not in love" bit. I moved, started working on myself...found out about the affair and that it had ended. I found myself still hoping to work things out with her, but ill feelings were taking over. Divorce papers come...divorce goes through...all the while, these negative feelings are building but in the back of my mind, I'm STILL hoping for a chance to work things out but starting to move forward with my life.
Then one day I get "THE CALL"...she thought she had made a mistake and wanted to try and work on us. Maybe we could have worked things out, but all the negative thoughts I had about her finally won out and swayed my opinion or attraction to her...I declined.
I guess what I'm trying to say is this...I know you might have ill feelings towards your wife, she's the enemy right? Don't lose sight of what it is you're trying to get back to...the positives. Give the positives feelings towards her equal playing time because there might come a time when SHE is ready to work on the two of you and you won't see a point in it because you've lost sight of what drew you to her in the first place.
Ok, pain meds are kicking in...back to my state of dreaming...{"Ok Saffie which whip do you have chosen for me today? Ohh nice choice...I probably won't be able to sit for a week" }
