w8ing, I too spent more time with the kids becuase of STBX's lack of invovlment and ignored STBX in the process. With regards to our M I regret that, although I don't regret the time I spent with the kids.
STBX was ALWAYS working, if not working he was sleeping or watching TV, this too drove me nuts. I would practically beg him to spend time with us, to do something, go somewhere, take a walk or play a game. He usually (all except rare occassions) had no interest. If there was a family party for work we would go and he would put on a show of being an invovled dad or leave me to watch the kids while he had a good time with the people from his office.
And BND is right, I forgot all about some of this stuff for a long time after the bomb. I was so desparate to get my H back I would put up with anything not to lose my M.
I'm not saying I want a D, I never have wanted one. I believe we could have worked things out if we both changed our ways some. But I have come to realize that I am not willing to be second best again. That although I wanted STBX to love his job I wanted him to love his family more. I don't know if he was capable of that.
A friend of mine said that her FIL was not a great to her H and his family. In his 2nd M he made all the changes his first family had wished for. He was a very invovled stepdad, very attentive H. She said that it is possible that STBX knows what he messed up on the first time and is being a great H and stepdad to ow and her kids. I find that vey hurtful, that he could possibly do that when he couldn't try with us. I'm not saying that he is, I have no way of knowing. But if he is, it should be HIS kids he makes the effort with.
BND, I have to print out that recipe! If they taste anything like the ones I had yesterday they are heavenly!!!!
